Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nobel. Nobel who? No bell, that’s why I knocked! Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to hear another joke? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little help getting the door open! Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dozen. Dozen who? Dozen anybody want to let […]
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. So she gave me a hug. My wife said I twist everything she says to my advantage. I took that as a compliment. My wife asked if I’d
Why can’t you trust the laws of gravity? They’re always bringing you down. What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-o acid. Why did the bacteria fail the exam? Because its grades were below culture level. What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium? HeHe.
I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She said, “Nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring.” So I got her nothing.
