My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. I asked my wife why she never blinks during arguments. She said she can’t afford to miss a single thing I say wrong. My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went for coffee. Nice guy. Wants […]
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. So she gave me a hug. My wife said I twist everything she says to my advantage. I took that as a compliment. My wife asked if I’d
I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She said, “Nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring.” So I got her nothing.
Why did the family bring a ladder to dinner? Because they heard the meal was on the house.
“You never tell me I’m beautiful anymore.”Husband: “I told you on our wedding day and said I’d let you know if anything changed.”Husband is now accepting mail at an undisclosed location. 💌😂
“I’m going on a diet. Will you support me?”Husband: “Absolutely! 100%!”Wife: “So you’ll stop bringing home cake?”Husband: “Let’s not go crazy.” 🎂😂
“Tell me what you love most about each other.”Wife: “He makes me laugh.”Therapist: “And you?”Husband: “She makes me nervous… is that the same thing?” 😰😂
“Do you remember what today is?”Husband: “Of course I do!”Wife: “What is it?”Husband: “It’s the day I prove I remembered.”Wife: “You have no idea, do you?”Husband: “…Happy Tuesday?” 📅😂
