Relationship Jokes

“You never tell me I’m beautiful anymore.”Husband: “I told you on our wedding day and said I’d let you know if anything changed.”Husband is now accepting mail at an undisclosed location. 💌😂

“I’m going on a diet. Will you support me?”Husband: “Absolutely! 100%!”Wife: “So you’ll stop bringing home cake?”Husband: “Let’s not go crazy.” 🎂😂

“Tell me what you love most about each other.”Wife: “He makes me laugh.”Therapist: “And you?”Husband: “She makes me nervous… is that the same thing?” 😰😂

“Do you remember what today is?”Husband: “Of course I do!”Wife: “What is it?”Husband: “It’s the day I prove I remembered.”Wife: “You have no idea, do you?”Husband: “…Happy Tuesday?” 📅😂

“You’ve been shopping for 5 hours. Did you find anything?”Wife: “No.”Husband: “So what did you do for 5 hours?”Wife: “I found everything I didn’t want.” 🛍️😂

My wife said she wanted something that goes from 0 to 100 in seconds for our anniversary.I got her a weighing scale.I’m currently accepting mail at an undisclosed location.

My wife asked me why I never listen to her. I said, “Sorry, can you repeat that?” She said, “That’s EXACTLY the problem!” I said, “Sorry, can you repeat that?”

Husband: “You looked so beautiful on our wedding day.”Wife: “What about now?”Husband: “You still look exactly the same.”Wife: “Aw, really?”Husband: “Yes… unfortunately, I was hoping you’d improve.”